it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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