Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
