he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
