There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
