I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
