STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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