just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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