Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
worst night to have a conscience
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
