a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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