Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
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