sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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