It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
