somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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