So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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