So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
