I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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