guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
