TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
