I must be too annoying 4 u.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
