I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
