I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
