I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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