The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
