what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
