Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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