be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I smell like Dick and happiness
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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