they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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