i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
