He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
