If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
