It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
