Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
