i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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