She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i love accidental penises.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
