Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
