dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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