I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
