I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
