Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
