check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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