I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
