it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
