Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
