I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
