You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
