Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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