I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
