i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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