I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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