Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
