did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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