Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
